chicken broth?

At night I like to think

And the past few weeks I’ve had only one thing on my mind

Our bodies subconsciously transcribe DNA to RNA which is then translated in to protein and so on and so forth and yet despite that complexity I can’t even put my feelings for you in to the simplest of words.

because they aren’t simple.

I don’t know what these feelings are, but I’m looking at the moon tonight and he keeps reminding me how much I’d rather look at you.

Before the sun comes to chase him away, we have a conversation.

as his light gently touches the water he asks me what I long for.

I tell him about a girl with eyes like the stars, who’s skin is as soft as the clouds.

A girl who is more beautiful than the ocean, and stronger than the wind.

And I tell him that I don’t know what love is, and I don’t know if I ever will.

But as far as feelings go I’ve never felt such a connection.

Every second I spend with her is as wonderful as she is.

And each time I look into those eyes I feel more and more.

I don’t know if I should want those feelins to stay or to go because day by day a I find a new reason to fall for you.

I did NOT say fall in love.

Because I don’t know what love is, but I think it’s the smile that you bring to my face no matter how hard the world is pulling me down. Or maybe it might be the nickname that only you call me. Because I’ve always hated nick names but there’s something about you that I love.

I don’t know what love is but I swear every time you hug me I feel something. Every time your hand is in mine the world could end and I know I’d be just fine because everything I could ever want is right by my side.

I don’t know what love is but I feel it in my lungs every time I take a deep breath because you smell like beauty, and that’s a smell i’ll never forget.

I don’t know what love is but I run out of words when I try and explain how beautiful you are. Nothing can compare to you not the moon and definitely not the stars because they come and they go but you’re on my mind always.

Like a bird thinks about flying I think about you.

And I don’t know what love is but I’d do anything for you

You’re beautiful. No matter how many times I say it you’ll never hear it enough. And I can’t explain because my my heart won’t tell my brain how, but you make me feel alive.

Every inch of my soul knows you are, and I can feel my heart longing for you all the time.

I wish you could see into my mind and feel how I feel. My words can’t do justice, they never will.

I always wonder why we’re the same. Why we act the same, dress the same, and even say the same things. These similarities make it harder for me to tell myself no because I feel such a strong connection pulling me in to you.

No one makes me happier than you and I feel like if you’d have given me a chance I could’ve done the same for you.

I know there’s something there really deep down, but it can’t blossom unless you allow it to, I’ve done all I can and I’d do it again.

I don’t know what love is but this can’t be it.

Because love is supposed to be scary,

and I’ve never felt something more comforting in my life.

youth

there's something funny about growing up... 

it never get's easier. 

i spent years telling myself i never would, that i would just be physically old, but mentally adolescent. 

but as i go through life, there are experiences that force me to age without my consent.

throughout your entire life there will be shit you gotta go through that you don't deserve. That nobody deserves. Heavy shit you gotta go toe to toe with. Sometimes it'll beat you within an inch of your life. Sometimes it'll lay off only come back to kick you while your down.

i watched my friend grow up over night when his father passed away.

i watched my dad age 10 years in 2 months as the stress of supporting a family finally caught up to him 

you know what i learned?

that you can't not grow up. 

it's happening, and it hurts. 

remember this: through heartbreak, hopelessness, sadness, loneliness, you're always growing up. 

so play the songs that take you back to when you were younger. the songs that bring back the joy. the songs that take you back to your freshman summer, when you didn't have a worry in the world. 

to when your you and your friends walked the streets all night because that was your only way around town. going back and forth across town from house to house because you were free. 

because in this life i've learned that all good things come to and end. 

so hold on tightly to your memories

and never forget 

when you were young .

-mf